Thursday, May 1, 2014

You Can't Bite Your Teeth...

...Unless... If you pull them out one at a time, and bite it, but eventually you will run out of teeth, so you most definitely can't bite the last two, so you can't bite them all then, so you can't bite your fuckin teeth. Case closed.

You also can't take a bite out of a redbrick.  Go ahead and try it, I triple dog dare you.  Bite that motherfucker!  ...Ok.  Now that's out of the way,
Where is flight 370 at?  In the ocean?  In a hangar somewhere, getting repainted?  North Korea, maybe?  I'm betting on the Giant Mothership angle myself.  Swallowed up in a nanosecond, like so much space debris.  Picture a blue whale eating a prawn.  That's how a giant mothership would swallow a 777 in flight.  Gulp!
Keep in mind that these ships do not originate in this dimension, and therefore do not obey the same laws of physics.  They can become visible briefly and then vanish, taking whatever/whomever they want back with them to their realm of existence.  They could poof up in lower Manhattan and snatch up Gary Sinise, John Malkovich, David Peel, and Kevin Bacon (because everything is better with Bacon!) and then just quark off in a nanosecond, and the camera might not see anything...  David would fire up a joint for the ride...  Uh, so, where was I at again?  Oh, the giant mothership.  Right.
Yeah, and 239 Chinese folk... Ok, they weren't all Chinese, were they?  How many Thai hookers were onboard?  Any?  They should turn the investigation over to Kinky Friedman.  If he can't find it, I'm sure he can come up with at least one good reason why not.  "Ok, so why would 'aliens' snatch a 777 out of midair?" You say? Well, for the Kung Pao Duck, of course!  Or maybe just for the fuck of it.  Maybe it's Operation Northwoods.  Look it up.  Maybe all those passengers became lizard food.  Maybe they were taken for a breeding program.  Maybe they are all on Mars, working as slave labor in the mines.  The point is, Who knows?  Somebody knows.  Somebody knows, but they aren't saying.  And the ones who are doing all the talking don't know jack shit.  That's how it usually goes.  I hear some food calling me.  Later-bye.