The UFOs are coming...

The UFOs are coming. It's only a matter of time. Linear time is a human concept. Fleas don't perceive time the same as humans. Nor do rocks. Mice only see what is right in front of their faces. Monkey in the mirror. Frog in the spaghetti pot. Pork chitterlings. Roasted soybeans. I stuck my tongue in her urethra, on accident at first, but then on deliberate purpose, while I chewed on her clit. Softcore cunt sucking of the finest degree. I assure you. Parakeets recognize other parakeets. Cheez Whizz on a Ritz cracker. Olive milk. Pulled pigmeat. Hog maws. I like butter. How is the whiskey in these parts? I hear the heroin is to die for. That wasn't funny. But then it never is. Mister Pee Bottle and the wee-back machine. Timecop with a $2700.00 a day cocaine habit. That rolly-polly little blondie in the backseat of my 72 Buick. I didn't know it was her maiden voyage. I made her squirt on the ceiling. Monte Alban Mezcal. Fuzzy beer. George the bug. Don't leave a belt of Black Cat firecrackers sticking out of your pocket with easy access to the wick where one of your drunken buddies, an asshole like me, for instance, can very easily lean over with a cigarette and light it. Oops. Bet that smarts. We were jackasses when them dudes were still in diapers. Pass me another whore. Never claimed to be any kinda saint. Blood rains down from an angry sky, my cock rages on, my cock rages on. And how much whiskey does it take to make a drunk pass out in his boots and winter coat? About that much, I reckon. And I wasn't stealing them sheep, I was just giving them a ride in the back of my truck. Honest, ossifur. Sorry man, no leg of lamb tonight. But maybe a pigroast next week, provided we can steal us a pig... Times was more funnerer back then, back when cars was cars and cops was cops, and dirtbikes was the only way to fly, c'mon let's go get high. I wanna piss, but I'm too high, but I was stoneder then, and drunker than ten skunks. Ten drunk skunks with a pitbull chaser. I love that nobody really knows what the fuck I'm talking about. Good shit, Bolt! Fried cow patty. Dead fish on a bun with cheese. I said with cheese!  ...Brotherhood of the minnow. Possum in the trashcan. Dog chasing a hog, yeah I seen it. Throwed outta the titty bar. What the fuck are you doing in the middle of the road? Drinkin.  What fuckin mailboxes? I don't have a hole in my tire. I don't have a .357 laying on the dashboard. You'd see it if it was there. The fuck are you babbling about? Ok baby, yeah, let's go up in your backyard and hang out. I got some really good weed and some ludes. Chicken and a pig were walking one day, chicken said "I'm hungry. Are you hungry?" "I like chicken. Gawmp!" said the pig. Pigs is pigs. I ran over a duck with a 70-something Chevy Monza on the riverbank. The girls had a shit fit. I didn't do it on purpose. We had duck for supper. The girls wouldn't eat it. I love aminals. My buddy hit a pheasant with his Nova one time, same dealio, we ate the motherfucker. What are you gonna let it go to waste?!  Poaching my ass. You know what poaches my ass? A four foot tire fire. I had a wire. It was my wire. Then I lit it on fire. This girl I know wants me to help her out of a jam. I want some pussy. But she's trouble with a capital T. And I been there and done that too many times before, not with this particular girl, but it's the same pattern. "I'm a poor little helpless waif, come and rescue me!" Never ends well. Never say never. Something about them junkie chicks.. Don't know man, maybe I'm addicted to addicts... Maybe my dick just doesn't have a conscience. Mother Lilith, may I cavort with one of your daughters? I won't harm her. I just wanna hold her naked sweaty body next to mine, for a time. But if you say I may, then I'd love to taste her. But if you say no, I may not, well then all's for the best. Trouble comes a-knockin at my window late at night, and I open up that motherfucker and say, "Hey Trouble! Come on in, let's party!" Then the feelings come sneaking in with her, and the junkie tears, and the protector instinct within me awakens. Look out Loretta. He's getting dragged around by the dick again. What were once vices are now habits, according to the Doobie Brothers. Trap. Steel jaws. Snap. Got me by the balls. Chasing after some young cunt again, like a bloodhound in the wind, this time it'll be different, that same old song again. Like iron to a magnet, like a dog to its own puke, keep on running back to Miss Trouble, that same old song again. A succubus will keep on sucking until she sucks you dry. It ain't her fault, boy, it's just the way she's made, she ain't even gotta try. She can draw you into her vortex with a subtle wink of her eye. And you ain't to blame neither, just a dog going after some pie. But shit happens. Fecal matter occurs naturally. My olfactory receptors are geared to sniff after the pussy. But we'll see what we will see. Maybe she'll find some other swinging dick to torment with her sweet lies...  Either way...  The UFOs are coming. You can't stop it. Donald Trump can't stop it. Maybe the Spirit of Nikola Tesla might be able to stop it, or at least delay the inevitable for a while. It's a crap-shoot. Who knows? Certainly not I. Maybe we ought to consult the Pussy Oracle.