Friday, September 30, 2016

Where Did My Fuckin Videos Go?!

I took four or five videos with my phone.  I plugged the phone into my computer, running windows 8. I proceeded to make a new folder, name it, and cut/paste the videos from the phone to the new folder.  I go to look for the folder, and it's gone.

What the fuck?!

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Coffee... Mmmm, coffee... (And other profound insights...)

I haven't blogged in quite awhile.  I haven't barfed in quite awhile either, but that's another story.  Mmm, I dig coffee.  This morning it's a mixture of Starbux Sumatra ground on top of some Maxwell House Master Blend. (There's a free plug for you Maxwell House, can I have some free coffe?)  ...This morning it's 2:12 in the afternoon, because I work nights right now, so this is my morning.  But I digress. 

Anyways, I was reading about Frank Lloyd Wright's Broadacre City, his dream project, which never came to fruition.  If it had, it would've been his magnum opus, his crowning achievement.  It also would've turned much of the north American continent into what basically amounts to urban and suburban sprawl.  Of course, that very thing has been happening at an alarming rate anyway, since at least 1980, and probably a lot longer.  I loathe sprawl.  A lot of beautiful natural woods has been destroyed to accommodate preplanned yuppy suburbia and strip malls.  Access to some of the best fishing holes has been usurped in favor of bicycle trails.  To me, this underlines and illustrates the artificial plastic disposable nature of modern western society.  Just destroy the natural and yuppify everything into one gigantic golf course.  Wright's ideal wouldn't have been any better.

I have admired Fallingwater since I first saw it, the way it tries to blend in with the surrounding land, rather than intrude upon it, but it does intrude, however subtly.  I'm beginning to view Wright more like Gary Cooper's character from Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead.  I'm no architect, but if given the chance, I would design society to exist in harmony with the natural world.  There needs to be open spaces.  There should be access for the wildlife to get from one side of the highway to the other, without becoming road-pizza.  Remember, the deer and other critters aren't in your backyard, you're in theirs.  They were here first.  Couldn't roads be built with tunnels underneath for the critters, and fences along the edges to keep them off?  Couldn't cities and communities be designed to do minimal damage to the environment?  I think they could.  I think man is haughty and self-important, attempting to corral and control nature rather than trying to coexist with it, or to exist within it.  Critters don't belong in zoos, they are free beings, who deserve freedom to range.  If humankind can't peacefully exist within nature, then maybe it is we who belong in zoos.

I believe that we were charged with a solemn duty to be the caretakers of this planet, and that we have thus far failed miserably at it.  We are not meant to exploit and abuse, these ideas are not natural, they seem very foreign to me.  Some outside influence has fucked with our thinking.  I'm not suggesting any cockamamey L Ron Hubbard nonsense, but just think about it for a minute.  Detach yourselves from your iPhones and your televisions, put down the xbox controller, and meditate.  Think about The Matrix, think about the Mandela effect, think about CERN, think about Brave New World...  During the Pleistocene Epoch, humanity existed within nature.  Then something changed.  After the glaciers receded, people in the old world began to view themselves as somehow above nature, rather than as a part of it.  People here on Turtle Island continued to live in harmony with nature for the most part.  Of course, we don't know the whole story, because it has been intentionally erased, the truth hidden from us by someone, for whatever reason(s).  Consider HG Wells' The Time Machine.  The Eloi lived above ground, they were largely innocent, while the sinister and diabolical Morlock lived in subterranean tunnels.  The Morlock came out at night to prey on the Eloi, much as humans prey on cows.  Now, consider David Paulides Missing 411.  What, pray tell, is preying on humans?  What if the Morlock found a way to shapeshift and make themselves resemble the Eloi, or even to interbreed with them while retaining their predatory nature, and to construct a (global?) society based upon hierarchy, wherein they would be the elite, whilst keeping the livestock stupid and docile and easily manipulated...  (Starting to resemble anything?  Making y'all think, at least, ain't it) 

I don't know, man.  I'm still trying to figure it all out.  Writing it helps me to contemplate, and if anyone reads this blog, maybe they will contemplate things as well.  Meditation and contemplation beat the fuckin dogpiss out of playing videogames, or watching mindless drivel on the idiot-box, or drinking whiskey, or shooting dope, or smoking crack or meth, or munching handfuls of Xanax... Well, for me they do.  Y'all make up your own minds.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Get Your Fucking Paws Off Me, You Damn Dirty Fascist

Get your stinking paws off of me, you damn dirty ape!  Them apes fucked with Judah Ben Moses In Space!  Them apes wasn't too bright.  Well, a few of them were.  But not Claude Akins, he was just mean.  Anyways...  What if it was like that, only we're the apes?  Humans, homo sapiens sapiens, modern man, yeah, what if we took over after the gods went home?  We were bred from the hominids, and the gods.  We were bred again from the Neanderthals and Denisovans, and the demigods, or Nephilim, or whatever you choose to call them.  Imagine for a minute, if you will, mad scientists working in some covert government lab somewhere.  They take some human DNA and some ape DNA, they splice and they play.  Their objective is to create a race of workers, intelligent enough to follow directions, but stupid enough to do it without question.  And strong enough to do heavy work.  Stronger than we are...  Now imagine this is what the gods did, how they made us millions of years ago.  DNA mixing in a blender, spitting out little manlings and womanlings.  Now, imagine we rebelled and killed them, or they died off by some other means, or they left in a hurry to escape something.  For whatever reason, the gods went away.  Maybe we rose up and killed them.  Maybe they killed each other.  Whatever the case, they went wherever they went.  Nobody is left from then to tell us the real story.  We ignore the ancient stories, we reject them as fantasy mythos.  But whatever happened...
We found ourselves suddenly free to roam in a paradise, but we had competition, the very Neanderthals, Denisovans, Cro-Magnons, etc. that were our ancestors.  We had to drive them off the best hunting grounds, lest we starve.  But the gods left us na├»ve and innocent.  They took their vast storehouse of knowledge with them.  Man does not know himself.  We had to learn from trial & error.  We had to learn how to survive.  Messengers came among us.  They taught us things.  How to fish, how to make tools...  Who were these messengers?  Who the fuck knows?  Maybe they were gods who stayed behind to watch over us, maybe not.  They taught us of wheels, they taught us of wind and waves...  In many places they were worshiped as gods.  They built great cities.  (Or were the cities built before the gods left?  Again, who knows?)  Nobody lives today who lived then, or if we do, we've long forgotten.  DNA.  We need to learn how to access our genetic memory.
Get your long spindly fingers off me, you damn dirty alien!  Nothing is what it seems.  Scratch the surface.  Dig down a few feet.  See what you dig up.  Everything's there.  Right wherever you put it.

Doo Doo Theory {Shit Theory, Fecal Matter Theory, Etc.}

  One time a bunch of us were hanging out at Shorty's Bar, getting fucked up.  We had been fishing.  We were rowdy, talking loudly, and there was a guy by himself at the end of the bar, by the television.  He was watching the news.  Suddenly he yelled up at the tv, "It's all shit!" "It's all fuckin shit!"  Everybody looked over, but my buddy Howie went over to him and said, "Sir, I couldn't agree more, it's all shit!" ...and raised his glass.  The guy bought him a shot and a beer.  Then he started buying rounds for everybody.  It turns out he was the local Justice Of The Peace.  You know, the guy in the robe that sentences people for public drunkenness and petty thefts all day.  It's all shit.

   So the theory is then, that it's all shit.  Everything is shit.  That's it, Fort Pitt.  Every molecule, every atom, except the ones in space, and the ones very deep in the ground, has been a part of something's fecal matter at some point in time.  Your atoms, my atoms, dog atoms, cat atoms, cockroach atoms... Water molecules... Leptons, Muons, and Quarks, oh my! And the rare & elusive Higgs Boson, even...  Maybe.  All has passed thru something or other's digestive system at some point.  It's just a chemical reaction.  It's all a process.  Everything is shit.

   I made shit in a plastic bag and tied it up and threw it in the trash can on more than one occasion.  Ain't nothing but a thing.  Folks throw poopy diapers in the trash all the time, baby shit, adult shit, what's the difference?  Shit's shit.  Ain't it?  Now I'll admit, one place I lived at, I had no running water, so shitting in a bag was a routine thing, and pissing in jars, coffee cans, buckets, whatever. Sometimes it was crap in a bucket, piss in the bucket, take the bucket out to the railroad tracks and dump it. And I had a girl that would stay over sometimes.  She wouldn't shit in a bag.  She shit on the side of the house, and under the trestle.  Once I lived in this place where they cut the utilities off.  We ran a hose from next door, til they rented it out.  Then we shit both toilets full to capacity, and moved on to shitting in the backyard.  That's what you do when you're dirt poor and on drugs.  Fucks given: Nada.

  So I like to shit at home, where my ass feels comfortable, the toilet seat knows my ass by name, and the occasional cat audience...  But sometimes I'm at work, and I gotta go shit in the woods.  You gotta do what you gotta do.  Once I shit in a plastic flower pot behind a bush next to a house, then I put the pot in a trash bag and it went on the truck with the rest of the trash.  Bye.  Nobody need be the wiser.  Not that long ago I had to shit bad.  I had to go down over a hill, down a ravine, to the stream, to get out of visual range of houses.  When I shit, it was projectile explosive diarrhea.  ...With a big gas bomb fart propelling it.  It blasted the rocks and into the nice pretty little stream.  That right there is why I always grab extra napkins from Starbux.  Gotta do what you gotta do.  It is what it is.  It's all shit.
  So, you shit, it goes down the sewer, it goes to the shit plant to get processed, and gets made into fertilizer, which someone uses to grow tomatoes, which get eaten and turned back into shit.  Or you shit outside, something eats it, something else eats that, on up the food chain.  Eventually it goes back to shit again.  Voila.  Everything is shit.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Is Everybody Happy?

So I asked the question "Is everybody happy?" and I don't expect a response, it's sort of a rhetorical question, Kinda like "Does anybody give a fuck?"....

Of course not everybody is happy. We live in a world of disparity, social inequality, dystopia...
And the chasm is widening.

So anyways, they're watching this thing on the television in the living room about a congressional task force to combat opioid addiction, (seems like congress never heard of NA, for some reason..) or maybe it was to combat the opioid epidemic, I think that's how they worded it. So I searched to find out what exactly is the difference between opioids and opiates.  I figure, Dilaudids, Oxys, Perks, Vikes, etc. right?  Well, according to  It seems that opiates are derived from opium, while opioids are synthetic, basically synthetic opiates, so I guess they act on the human psyche the same way, and since humans like to get high, they are addictive, and so Uncle Sam considers them to be "highly controlled" or so says the website I pasted the link to above.  So there's this suit on there talking, Senator Whoever The Fuck He Is, and he's babbling about how there are non-opioid alternatives that big pharma could be selling instead, and some gobbledy-goop about how they could profit from it...  And I started thinking about it, how they could profit...   That's all they're interested in, making a profit.  They don't care about helping people, just about profits.  That's fucked up.  That's the reason why they haven't found a cure for anything yet, they don't want to find a cure, because if they did they'd lose money. It's never been about helping anybody, it's all about how some fascist rich fucks can get richer. They aren't even looking for cures for diseases, they're looking for pills that give short-term relief, so you have to keep buying more pills, so they get richer.  They aren't Florence Nightingale, they're the dopeman.  They want everyone hooked on their pills.  If they did manage to find a cure for cancer, or aids, or the common cold, or anything, they'd bury it so they could keep on selling pills.  Power corrupts, and money begets the lust for more money.  That, and then there's the underlying population control, which is far more sinister, because when they say "population control" what they actually mean is depopulation.

They want people to die from diseases, and wars, and anything else, because there are too many people, and they can't seem to get people to quit fucking, no matter how much prudish religious fundamentalism they cram down people's throats, because people enjoy fucking. Woo! Big surprise there, huh? People like to fuck! Imagine that.  See, back in the middle ages people were populating along at a pretty good clip, and then they had the black death, the bubonic plague, and something like two thirds of Europeans died off.  All of a sudden the lords and barons and dukes and kings had to actually work, lest they starve, because most of the serfs were dead from plague.  Needless to say, their royal hind-nesses didn't like this arrangement, they needed more slaves to do the work so that they could sit on their fat asses and feast all day, and have royal cotillions all night.  So they urged the peasants to be fruitful and multiply.  Trouble is, humans can multiply almost as well as rabbits.  That's why we have too fuckin many humans for Mother Earth to sustain for much longer, especially at the rate we're going, taking from the land without giving anything back, poisoning the air, land, and water, eating and shitting, like leeches, or like a parasitic virus, which eventually bleeds its host dry, and the host dies, and in turn the virus dies with it.  I don't want humanity to go extinct.  I'd be, if not happy, at least less upset, maybe even calm and mellow, if all the rich bastards were to go extinct.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Wibbley Wobbely Woo

uh, what the
fuck                                 ?

This keeps on getting bet

Bawhumbug... (Merry Fuckin Christmas)

So... Haven't been here in awhile... Uh huh. Yessir.

Just some weird shit that randomly careens thru my mind:

1) The word homage. If pronounced the way it's spelled, would sound like "Hommij" or "Home-ij", but has always been pronounced with a silent h and short o, like "ommij", well, that is until the phony, pretentious yuppy fucks got ahold of it, and tried to Frenchitize it, like "Oh-Mahzh" which makes the speaker sound like a pompous douchebag, in my opinion, kind of like when they say "Awn-velope" for envelope.

2) The word sugar. Why do we pronounce it "Shooger" and not "Soo-Gar"? Why does Suge Knight spell his namd Suge, which should rhyme with spooge, instead of just spelling it Shoog? Must be a G thing, I guess.

{I was thinking about that while taking a shit this morning.}

3) Andy Kaufmann didn't have a cow in his name, it rhymes with Hoffmann.

4) Yeah, I've probably written about this before, but I can't remember because I suffer from CRS (Can't Remember Shit), and I enjoy smoking pot. They say it fucks with one's short-term, uh, what is that fuckin word again?

So, on account of it being December 25th and all, I decided to make this post half red and half green. Woo fuckin hoo.

I'm going to smoke a li'l nuggy now.

Mmmm... Better! Now where was I at again? Jacob Marley. Aw Bob Saget. (There. There's an homage to Ebenezer Scrooge and Danny the Tourette's Guy.) [Fuck you and every mall santa that looks like you!] {& somewhere in the back of your mind right now is Bob Marley.}

Ah!   There He  Is!!

I'm a man of very little capital this December 25th, thanx in part to the weather, bills, and the InFernal Revenue Service. (Yep, them fucks.) And, as a direct result of being a man of very little capital, I'm also a man of very little bud remaining. :(


Since dragging my fifty-year-old ass up out of bed this morning, approximately two hours ago, I have searched and read about the evolution of the Jeep, studied the local weather forecast [fap-fap], listened to CW McCall relaying a musical anecdote about crossing the great divide in a semi, and perused some interesting pictures and video footage of women with bizarre ink inserting bizarre (sometimes living) objects into bodily orifices... Then I was bored enough to write.

   So.    I'm not a very Christmasy sort of dude. I used to go thru the motions of my upbringing, get a tree, string lights on it, hang shit on it, etc. And no matter how much you water it, it drops needles everywhere, cats climb it, dogs piss on it, and inevitably some drunk motherfucker falls into it and down it goes, along with Grandma's antique family heirloom blowed-glass Christmas balls. Thpbt.
Fake trees don't fare much better. Besides, fake trees suck.

So I have this bag of old lights that I intercepted on its way from a job to the dump. I saved the ones that still work. I was thinking about haphazardly throwing them on the bushes in front of the house, just for the fuck of it, but it's raining outside. Someone dreamed of a wet Christmas.
December 25th, 2015 - It's 70 degrees and thunderstorming. The neighbors were blowing up fireworks last night. Not the drunks across the street either, someone one street over. Maybe I'll build a fire in the yard and throw the rest of the leftover fireworks we have laying around into it. But it's fuckin raining. Coffee beckons. Merry fuckin Christmas.